The article below, by Lisa Copen, really hit home for me and I knew it would for most of you out there too. I was just saying to my husband today that I felt worthless when it comes to looking for a job I can do to help around here. I no longer have my sharp mind, excellent multi-tasking skills, and quick learning abilities. To make matters worse, it would have to be working from home as just getting ready for the day wears me out. Gone are the days of taking my time to perfect my hair and make-up and accessories and then walking out of the house feeling confident in my classy suit with the stylish high heels. I truly don't feel like the same person I once was, and it really makes me angry sometimes! We have to remember that there is a reason for this and we must let God use us the way he needs to. Read on and I hope you have a blessed day!

How Does a Chronic Illness Affect a Person's Self Esteem?
Chronic Illness is Hard on Your Self-Worth:

By Lisa Copen

I used to feel like I could do anything," shares Sharon. "It was easy for me to build myself up if I had a presentation or walked into a roomful of strangers. But now, I feel like I am not as ‘worthy’ as I once was. I look different, I can’t do the things I once did, and worst of all, I feel different. I am not the same person I was before my illness."

How does a chronic illness affect a person's self esteem? Chronic illness and daily pain have a way of entering into our life and draining us of the feelings of worthiness we once may have had. Some of us never really felt confident to begin with. Now having to park in the disabled spot despite the glares, or use a cane causing stares, feels like someone took a blow to what little self-esteem we had. What is it about pain that causes us to feel less of a person that we once did and how can we regain the confidence that we once had in ourselves back? Body image and illness is can cause great confusion with our self-esteem. And we have many questions: Will i lose the weight i gain on prednisone?
We expect a great deal out of ourselves. Perhaps it’s just a matter of perspective. Are you expecting more out of yourself than is realistic? Give yourself a break!

I remember going to church one morning despite horrendous pain. Before the service began I just decided to go home and go back to bed, but I shared my guilty feelings with my girlfriend. "But my husband didn’t sleep much last night and he has to stay (he’s in the band)." "And he doesn’t have arthritis flaring in every part of his body!" she said. "Oh yeah," I thought. "I guess it’s okay for me to realize that I have nothing to feel guilty about. I am in a lot of pain!"

Romans 12: 3 says, "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." Are you being objective about your abilities? My mom always told me, "You’re just as good as everyone else, and you aren’t any better than anyone else!" She had learned this from her mother who often said, "We all put our pants on one leg at a time."

While it is healthy to believe in our abilities, given to us through Christ Jesus, we must also acknowledge our limitations and work within them, not fight them. We are to examine them with "sober judgement..."

We are putting to much emphasis on our outward appearances. I struggle with this fact every day. Some people deal with great weight loss due to illness. For me, the effects of medications and lack of exercise has not given me a body in which I am comfortable nor proud because I've gained weight. Oh, how I miss that old me who once enjoyed shopping for clothes. Now it even hurts to get dressed. Pain caused me to quickly exchange beauty for comfortableness, when it came to clothing, but along with it I exchanged my pride with a lower self-image.

How eager I am to make another exchange! "...Jesus Christ will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body" (Phil 3:21). I know what it’s like to live with a body that you do not feel pride in, a body in which causes daily frustrations. The only advice that I can suggest is to pray daily that God will restore your self-image into that which he has given you through Him. Do not be tempted to place your standards as high as the world’s standards.

We place our value in our accomplishments rather than in God. "I used to be such a busy-body," explains Tina. "But after I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome I let everything go. I quit my clubs, I lost friends because I kept canceling, I quit volunteering. I also lost my sense of worth, though, because I wasn’t receiving praise from anyone any longer."

God loves us for who we are and doesn’t expect us to put our value in our accomplishments. Eph 2:10 says "...we are created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Did you know that God prepared in advance for this time in your life? What’s your definition of "good works?" God isn’t relaying the message "Get yourself out there and get to work!" Rather, He is emphasizing that He has planned for this time in your life, even if it seems a bit quiet and unproductive.

Remember, He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it (Phil. 1:6) While we're asking ourselves, "What is weight loss in an illness?" or "What is the best prednisone weight gain prevention?" we must try to forget what is behind and strive for what is ahead (Phil. 3:13). God has great things in store for you and he already knows all your physical limitations.

Five Tips for Dealing With Bad Days

It's another bad day. You wake up and you feel so tired that you could swear your eyes are crossed. You get up and walk to the bathroom and the bottom of your feet hurt along with everything else, and you feel like you need a walker to finish getting to the bathroom. Of course, we never really have "good days," but we always get those super bad days when our illness is flaring and wreaking havoc on our bodies. Below are my top five tips for dealing with these days.


1) First things first...pray. Pray that God will help get you through the day and ease your suffering if it be in his will. This is the most important step! Sometimes I am so fatigued and can't think straight that I forget this step and end up feeling even worse than if I would have prayed. If you do a daily devotional, this would be a good time to do it and if you don't, you might want to start and see what a difference it will make in your life. Even if it is not in His will that you will be cured, or even relieved of some of your suffering, you will find that you have more patience, love, and understanding in your heart!

2) Before you even leave the bedroom, make sure you are wearing very comfortable and supportive slippers or shoes. This will make a difference, trust me! I recently bought a pair of "nursing" clogs from a site called Ten Dollar Scrubs (click on picture below to go to the site) and was amazed at the level of comfort (squishiness) and support they provided and at such a low price. My close friend and neighbor who suffers from Rheumetoid Arthritis and Lupus had to have a pair after she tried mine on! Shoes that are comfortable and supportive will help you have a little more stamina and help with the level of pain. Even if it is just a tiny bit, we deserve it!

3) When getting dressed, make sure you are comfortable. Don't wear pants or shirts that are too tight. Wear your favorite jeans or pants that make you feel comfy and cute. My favorite outfit was handed down to me by someone else. It was one of those sporty jogging sets with the matching shirt, jacket, and pants. This outfit is cute and very comfy. My usual attire is a pair of comfy jeans with a cute t-shirt or shirt that is comfy and my tennishoes or clogs. The trick is to try and find a few really cute and comfortable shirts that you can throw on with your favorite pants or jeans and be done with it. All of this being said, if you are having a bad enough flare and feel like you can barely get out of bed and don't need to go anywhere, stay in your PJ's and go back to bed and rest. Your body needs it and you deserve to rest without worrying about it.

4) If you have to go somewhere and feel you must wear some makeup then get yourself a stool or a chair that you can sit in front of the mirror you get ready at. While putting on makeup, go with the minimum amount needed. Apply concealor, if needed, then just some powder or a powder base that you can smooth on real fast. My favorite is MAC Studio Fix, you smooth it on real fast and it looks like you worked for more than just a minute on your base. Next get out the blush brush and apply, no need to put more on the brush...there is always some left on the brush. Dab on some lip color and a little mascara if needed. Be done! Don't wear yourself out applying base and lip liner and all that business. You are beautiful just the way you are and don't need all that other stuff anyway!

5) Always think... how can I do this using the least amount of energy? Especially when you are in a flare, be nice to your body and rest whenever you can! We CFS/Fibro's have a way of being a typical type A personality and get wound up about how everthing needs to be perfect or a certain way before it is right and use every last ounce of energy. We need to throw out that "stinkin thinkin" and realize that it's ok for things to just be "good enough!"
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5 Ways to Surrender Frustrations of Living with Invisible Illness

"But you look fine. Are you sure you're feeling as bad as you say?" "You haven't really experienced chronic fatigue until you've tried to raise three children on your own!" "I think if you just got out of the house more and didn't think about it so much, it may just heal itself." "If you were serious about trying to get well, you'd at least try those vitamins I recommended. It never hurts to try."
And the remarks go on. . . and on.
And it hurts.
You may be surprised to hear that nearly 1 in 2 Americans has a chronic illness or physical condition that affects their daily life. The range of diseases include everything from back pain to fibromyalgia, arthritis to cancer, and migraines to diabetes. Oftentimes, one of the largest emotional stumbling blocks for people who suffer from illness is the invisibility of the pain. About 96% of illness is invisible. This means that the person who suffers from the chronic condition show no outward signs of physical pain or disability, nor does he or she use an assistive device like a walker or wheelchair. But the incredible pain each day can be disabling within the confines of the home.
If you have an invisible illness here are 5 tools to help let go of some of the frustrations:

[1] Let go of expectations. This may be a life-long process, but you will consistently find that people will always disappoint you, as no one is perfect-including you! Remember, you don't understand the difficulties that your friends are going through, whether it's a divorce, the death of a loved one, a loss job, an ill child, etc. Your illness is significant in your life. Even when people care, they still will have significant things going on in their own lives.

[2] Find supportive friends. If there is someone who is constantly belittling you or doubting your illness and he is beyond listening, let go of that friendship or distance yourself from that relative. Illness has a way of helping prioritize friendships and spend our limited energies with those that mean the most to us.

[3] Search for blessings in your life. Make a commitment to stop dwelling on how badly you feel, and instead search for ways to bring more joy into your life, even if it's just appreciating the small things. What are you doing when you feel natural adrenaline kick in and give you extra energy? Most likely, that's where your passions are! Bring more of these into your life. And don't let your limitations stop you. For example, if you once loved to garden, now you could grow a few potted flowers or hire a neighborhood teenager to plant some vegetables and set up an automatic sprinkler system. If you want to aim high, consider starting a garden consulting business.

[4] Use your aptitude and talent for things you have a personal interest in. Too often we feel like the skills we learned in the workplace are no longer valuable. Perhaps you've always wanted to write children's books or be a business consultant. Get involved in your community and do some volunteer or part-time work to continue to grow professionally. Rather than focusing on what others aren't doing to comfort you, follow your dreams and give that gift of comfort to yourself.

[5] Encourage someone else. You personally know how hard it is to live with illness and to feel like no one understands. So take time to be vulnerable with someone else who is going through this. Whether you meet someone through an online group such as National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week's message boards, or through your local support group, volunteer your time and expertise (yes, you're an expert on living with invisible illness!) and use it to make someone else's journey easier and you'll find your own is more enjoyable too. Are you frustrated that no one at your church thinks your invisible illness is real? Rather than stop going to church, find ways to educate them, such as a column in the church newsletter or brochures about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. These say what to say/not to say to a chronically ill person.
None of us have the capability to force another person to change, or to make them care. But we can educate them and give gentle advice. We must also continue to work on ourselves, however, because you will find that even when you want to change it can be a real challenge. It requires discipline and motivation for a better life. You owe it to yourself to find joy despite your illness, and by focusing on how you can change your circumstances, instead of change other people, you'll be much more rewarded.
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Article Written by Lisa Copen

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries, Inc., (http://www.restministries.org/) a Christian organization that serves people who live with chronic illness or pain. She's authored books on chronic illness and started Invisible Illness Awareness Week and has lived with rheumatoid.

Thanks Lisa!

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